User Profile

The birthdate shows my age, and if I list a number, it will probably change before I edit this again. So do the math if you're interested.

I am a stay-at-home mother of a beautiful little girl (born in October of '07). I've failed at staying in school three times due to the WORST TIMING IN THE WORLD! Illness, job loss... You get the picture. But I do have WELL ABOVE the ordinary level of intelligence, and I'm starting nursing school in the fall. I could theoretically graduate and immediately start making more money than my former college classmates who mocked me, abused me, and left me without tips when they found me waitressing after I lost the full scholarship that they weren't even talented enough to ever be offered in the first place. And no student loans. I win.

I am neurotic and a perfectionist. I avoid confrontation to an extreme degree and sometimes end up compromising myself (and my integrity) to remain friendly with others. However, I am entirely intuitive and see through most people (hence the ability to manipulate so well). I can be judgmental, but keep my judgments in the closet most of the time - even when they could have real-life benefit. I am working on this - building up my lost confidence and trying to care less what people think. Ironically enough, that uncaring confidence ends up making you more attractive to most people - the kicked puppy who knows too much but keeps coming back for more (giving everyone 20th chances) is not an attractive quality.

I am pretty good at most things I attempt. My first painting was better than many who have been painting for a decade. My poems were more insightful than the amateur published author. I sing well enough to cause silence at a karaoke bar. I have 14 years of swim team and 6 of piano lessons. My dishes are licked clean when I cook my simple, filling meals. But I'm no star at anyone thing - the jack-of-all, master-of-none crap.

But I still can't even learn to play the guitar to save my life. And I SUCK at video games (and dislike most of them).

I love tabletop RPGs, but a pressured schedule means I'm itching to socialize and have trouble buckling down to actually play around the gaming table.

I am married to an amazing man - handsome, intelligent, silly, affectionate... He constantly challenges me to relax, accept things at face value, and realize that I cannot save everyone or control every aspect of my life. He heightens my spirituality and encourages me to explore options that might not always have a practical benefit or a bottom line. I keep him on track and encourage his somewhat atrophied ambition. We balance each other out so wonderfully, though not without butting heads occasionally. He's my best friend, and keeps my blood pressure in check.

My daughter is the most amazing thing in my life. Her eyes are the smoky blue of my youth and she stares right through my soul. Though not particularly an early walker or talker, she understands concepts and mechanics that would stymie a child over a year older than her. She is incredibly intuitive. She hugs me when I'm sad and within minutes, I'm laughing and playing with her as if the rest of the world no longer exists. She's starting to attempt singing, joining in (often shockingly on-key) when I dance around the house, belting whatever song is in my head. She is such a gentle and sensitive soul. Seriously, she touches the cats with a single fingered stroke and kisses any toy with a face.

I have finally come to the place where I stop feeling guilty for passing her off when I'm out with friends or just plain taking a night to go out without her. I have no income-bearing job and, therefore, no one watches her for me. So if you see me out, and I'm running from person to person while my husband is watching her, keep in mind that for almost 12 hours a day, 6 days a week, there is no one but me, her, and a crapton of children's toys and television programming.

I get depressed, as most people do who live in the lowest income bracket, but my life really is pretty great. We have our needs met and still manage to have some fun. I use this journal for rants that can't fit on any other networking site without being misinterpreted, but please believe me when I say I'm not angry all of the time.

A few parting facts: I am bisexual, very liberal, passionate, hardworking, sexually enlightened (to a degree, very little phases me), and intensely social. I consider myself Pagan, and am re-establishing my intense connection with a higher plane. I drink way too much coffee. I'm about to attempt quitting smoking. I don't do any drugs (save for the occasional alcohol). I talk too much. I can be absent-minded. I over-react sometimes. I live with 2 furry children (kitties - Skitz and Roxy) as well. I love my friends and take betrayal personally. I adore the ocean. Purple is my favorite color. I am a cancer, astrologically. I wear amber everyday and have done so since I was 12.

Anything else? ASK ME!

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